You can do anything, but not everything.
Have you ever had an instance where you take a break, but you can’t seem to disconnect from work or from all the things left to do on your to-do list? Do you stress about all the items that are still left to be checked off your list or the pile of unanswered emails growing in your inbox? Do you often feel that if you take a day or two of that it will set you even further back? Do breaks and days-off make you feel guilty to the point where you start criticizing yourself for being “lazy” or “procrastinating” too much. That no matter how much you do, it’s still not “enough.”
Why do we often feel guilty for taking breaks?
We’ve fallen into a normal system of deep-rooted belief built on the false premise that the only way to be successful is to constantly work. Taking too much time off equates to failure. Society has shown us that “hard work and long hours” are rewarded and seen as the ideal model of work ethic. We often feel like our security is threatened if we’re not living up to everyone’s expectations. Unfortunately, when we’re overworked, we are in a no better place to succeed. In fact, we become less productive.
But where exactly is this feeling of guilt coming from? If you are a typically active person, your brain often associates “day-off” with “do nothing.” This thought of doing nothing often leads you to feel stressed which is the opposite of relaxation. I, for one, am one of those people. The thought of laying around doing nothing all day gives me a level of anxiety I can’t even explain.
In turn, we need to design our day off to meet our brain’s programmed requirement for a successful day.
Why do we need breaks?
Because we’re less productive, we become unfocused and foggy-brained. This in turn can often lead to dangerous life threatening situations.
We need breaks to recharge and feel better so we can perform well.
With that, we need to maintain a more balanced and healthy life that is essential to our happiness and well being. A well-balanced person has a far greater ability to focus their attention and energy on attaining their goals, taking productive actions, and moving forward in a meaningful way.
Start with what. What does a well-balanced life look like for you? Depending on whether you’re a very active person or a bit more laid back, how can you go about achieving a balanced life in the midst of our crazy schedules?
Here are 12 Tips on How to Find Balance
- Learn to say no
If we don’t set limits, then we end up disrespecting ourselves. Yes! I’ve had to learn this the hard way. I once said yes to everyone and everything, events, dinners, helping others, anything you name it. I was readily available to others because I had a fear of missing out. Fear that if I said no once I wouldn’t get a second invite. Unfortunately, you end up losing yourself trying to keep up this lifestyle.
Prioritize yourself and learn to say no to some things. It’s okay to be flexible, but not to the point of trying to please everyone and putting their needs before yours. By always saying yes you’re leaving yourself susceptible to low self-esteem and feelings of loneliness.
When we say no, we’re setting boundaries for ourselves and giving ourselves the value we deserve. Stop caring about what others say and think, stand your ground, and don’t explain yourself. You don’t owe anyone anything. You owe yourself everything. You owe yourself love.
- Stay active/ move your body
I spend most of my days sitting at a desk in front of my computer. I find it so hard to make time to stay active and move my body. However, that sort of mentality and inactivity will definitely leave a negative impact on your overall well being.
I’ve started to add more activity to my daily life. Sometimes every couple of hours I’ll put on one of my favorite songs and start dancing, or at night I’ll schedule a long walk or go meet a friend for coffee or even dinner. My life feels more fulfilled.
By moving and being active, you can enjoy its many benefits such as better overall health, more energy, better fitness, and improved self-esteem. This is especially essential if you lead a busy lifestyle and need more balance in your life.
- Limit screen time
I love that Apple phones now have the feature. I often get so overwhelmed by my phone. The more it beeps or rings, the more I want to crawl into a deep dark hole. Having said that, I muted all my notifications (WhatsApp messages, emails, etc). I instantly feel better not having my phone go off every 5 seconds.
Also, I limit how often I go on social media per day, and when I go on social media. I try to limit it to lunchtime and later in the evening. This way I don’t get sucked into scrolling through my newsfeed for hours. Trust me, I’ve been there.
And don’t just limit this to just your phones. This also includes your TV and your computer. I know you’d rather sit on your couch and binge-watch your new favorite Netflix series, but there is so much more you can be doing with your time. By limiting your screen time, you open up yourself to doing more things that matter. Life going on that walk (see point 2).
- Read more books (try a fun fictional book)
Try to make reading a part of your routine. I know, Netflix seems much more appealing but, there are so many ways to read these days. If I have the luxury of staying still for a while, I’d happily pick up a book and get lost in a good story. Fictional stories are a good way to temporarily escape from the hustle and bustle. But other than that you can also read with your ears. When you go on that walk of yours, why not start an audiobook. Then you’re killing two birds with one stone.
Definitely try to keep your brain active and mix up genres.
No time for a full book, check out apps such as Blinkist and Instaread which offer key insights and summaries from best-selling books to help you boost your knowledge and discover new perspectives.
- Stop comparing
The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind the scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel. -Steve Furtic
We need to break out of the habit of measuring our worth to others. Remember, people tend to show you what they want you to see, which isn’t always what is actually happening. We’re measuring our worst to someone’s best. As a result, comparing will constantly leave you at a handicap, wondering if you’re ever good enough. These feelings are neither healthy nor fun.
The most important thing you can do for yourself is to take a step back, figure out who you are, and if you’re on the right path for yourself. Don’t try to be like someone else. We each have our own timing in life.
You are responsible for your own life, your own happiness. Only you can decide the things that bring you joy and make you feel more fulfilled.
- Ask for help
I don’t know who needs to hear this but, it’s okay to ask for help. What’s that quote? “Be strong enough to stand alone, smart enough to know when you need help, and brave enough to ask for it.” I’ve struggled with this one for the longest time. I honestly don’t know how to ask for help and assume I can do it all until I get overwhelmed and end up crying in a corner that this is just too much for one person to bear.
Asking for help is a sign of true strength, not weakness. Even the strongest people need help sometimes and it doesn’t make them weak to ask. It makes them human. And people want to help. We just need to be willing to ask.
- Find time to play and allow yourself to indulge
It’s an ongoing joke with my friends and I that we don’t think we’re adults. We sure as hell don’t act like it. We joke and play around a lot and we have fun. What grown-ass adults do that right? Wrong.
People assume that as we get older, suddenly we need to become more serious and not allow ourselves certain enjoyments. Find the things you enjoy doing and do it.
It’s also okay to indulge once in a while. EAT THAT CAKE. YOU DESERVE IT!
- Don’t take life too seriously
Similar to point 7, don’t take life too seriously. Remember, you’ll have problems. Things will go wrong, but sometimes you just need to laugh at it. It’s not the end of the world. Worrying won’t fix things. Enjoy the process and maneuver around the roadblocks life throws at you.
- Get ample sleep
Sleep is so important. I know how cliche that sounds but it’s true. Getting enough sleep is a surefire way to feel relax and rejuvenated. It’ll definitely aid in reducing stress and put you in a better mood.
- Focus on your relationships
This includes the relationship with your family, friends, and yourself. Connecting with friends and family can provide so much joy to your life. Make sure you set aside quality time to truly connect. Not just stare at your screens. Really get to know the people around you.
- Declutter
Release the things that no longer need to take up space in your life. A cluttered space bears a cluttered mind.
- Prioritize self-care and health
This one seems like a no brainer, but it’s often the one we neglect the most. Our health. Somehow, everything else is more important and this gets moved to the bottom of the list. I am more than guilty of this. If I have a work project and a doctor’s appointment at the same time, guess what gets rescheduled? Unless I’m having a complete health crisis and am left with no choice. I know I’m not the only one that does this.
It should be the first thing on the list. If you’re not healthy, everything else you do will suffer.
As always, if you need to talk, feel free to leave a comment here, drop me a DM, or head to the Facebook group. And tune into the podcast to listen to more conversations!
Lots of love xx
