As stated in the dictionary, a mentor is “an experienced or trusted advisor.” It’s a relationship in which a more experienced person helps guide a less experienced or less knowledgeable person. In most cases, the role of a mentor is associated with career. However, a mentor doesn’t just have to be someone who helps you with just your career. They can be someone or multiple someones that help you in all facets of your life. Another interesting thing to take into account with mentors is they don’t have to be older than you. Sometimes you can have a mentor that is younger and there’s nothing wrong with that if they’re providing value to your life and your development.
It’s important to both have a mentor and be a mentor. Mentors take the time to listen, care, and support. Having a mentor can open your abilities and create new and exciting opportunities for you as well as get you to tap into resources to progress in life. While being a mentor helps you to cultivate your leader and management skills as well as build deeper relationships.
Let’s look at the 4 C’s of the roles mentors play
- Consultant to share their own knowledge and insights based on their own real-life, 1st hand experiences. They find ways to stimulate our personal and professional growth
- Counselor to guide the mentee without telling them exactly what to do. They offer unfiltered opinions and you can bounce ideas off of them. This allows them the breathing room to also figure things out on their own in their own way. With the experience that comes from a mentor, the mentee is open to learn and avoid making the same mistakes.
- Cheerleader to provide support, tell you when you’re doing a great job and offer encouragement to help keep us going.
- Connections to open the mentee up to a network of people they didn’t previously have access to
How to find mentors
Finding a mentor is not an easy task, especially if you’re looking for someone to add a lot of value to your life. Before you seek a mentor out, you should ask yourself a few questions.
- Why am I looking for a mentor?
- What areas of my life do I need guidance on or to enhance?
- What are my professional goals?
- What do I value professionally and personally?
- Is there already someone in my life that I value and respect and don’t mind being mentored by?
- How many mentors do I need at this point in my life?
- What roles will each play?
Once you’ve asked and answered these questions, then you can start researching and reaching out to possible mentors.
Social media – look at groups on social media and send messages to people you admire or look up to; someone you want to build a relationship with. Let them know your true intentions from the beginning. Linkedin is a great option for finding a mentor or groups on Facebook.
Meetup groups or networking events – this is especially helpful if you’re looking for a mentor in your field of study or particular career path because you can attend relevant meetup groups or subject matter events and network, meet people and reach out to the ones you formed a connection with
Work – lots of companies today offer, inter-company mentorship programs. Definitely get involved. If your company does not offer this, then suggest that they start a program. And if there is someone you admire at work, reach out to them about becoming a mentor
Online – dedicated mentorship sites such as Mogul, MentorCity, and Find a Mentor to name a few offers you available solutions to find a mentor
Friends/Family – sometimes you don’t even have to look far. Maybe you have a friend or a family member you really admire or respect or you can ask to see if they know of anyone who would be a great fit to mentor you.
Yourself – I know! Who would have thought that you can be your own mentor. Well, to a certain degree. While I’d suggest you also find an external person, I get it. I feel like I’ve been my own mentor for a long time and it’s hard. Sometimes you can’t just learn things from books and Ted Talks alone. Sometimes you need to talk to someone and you need instant advice for your particular situation without having to look it up.
The world is your oyster and there is no shortage of resources for places you can find a mentor.
How to ask someone to be your mentor?
- Go back to your initial questions when you decided to seek out a mentor. Know what you’re looking for. What are your goals from finding a mentor? What are your expectations?
- Establish a connection before asking someone to be your mentor.
- Find someone whose goals align with yours, this way it’s easier to share experiences.
- Find someone you trust and respect and who would do the same and be completely transparent with you
Lastly, the key thing to remember when reaching out to someone is to not feel offended if a potential mentor says no. You have to remember that they too might have other obligations that won’t allot enough time to guide you, or they could be mentoring someone else or a plethora of other things that can cause them to say no. Never take it personally as you don’t know the full answer as to why they said no. Just thank them for their time and move on to finding someone else who has the energy and time to dedicate to you.
As always, if you need to talk, feel free to leave a comment here, drop me a DM, or head to the Facebook group. And tune into the podcast to listen to more conversations!
Lots of love xx